Awww man, not again. How about a week off? It was so nice just hanging here by the fireplace in the corner of the bedroom. Decent view of the sky, no issues with the dog and you even zipped me so that fat cat can’t slip inside. Oh, alright, here we go.
Wheeeeee, love that launch onto the bed. Pillow top mattresses are the best. Hey, easy on that, can’t you see I’m ripped down there? Enough tugging, already, I’ll let you in. OK, there we go—love that first deep breath of fresh air. How about you go downstairs and fix something, or mow the lawn first and I’ll just stay here and relax and enjoy the ceiling view and fresh air?
Huh, what the…oh, okay. I’ll just shut up while you fill me up with the usual. Dude you really ought to go shopping soon. Some of this stuff is wearing a bit thin, if you get my drift. C’mon, not the purple briefs, what if you get into an accident? And those gray socks, truly man, they reek and you’re about to pop through on both heels. Break out some coin and do us both a favor.
What, only three pair of undies and socks, sweet, short trip this time. No jeans, okay, all business, that’s cool. Let’s close something this week, you’re only batting .275 this year and momma needs new shoes, plus two in college, just saying. Wait a minute, no workout shoes or gear? What’s up man, don’t give up on that last ten pounds! Now, take a breath and rethink that last move. C’mon, you can do it. You know they’ll have a gym, at least a bike or treadmill or something. Nice, there we go. Love those old Nike’s—at least on this end of the trip. Don’t forget the socks, those cool ankle ones with the black stripes on the side, ahhhh, yes, love those. Ok, hoss, looks good from here. I think you can close me up for the—WAIT!! Belt, where’s the belt? You know the black-brown reversible one. It’s not in the side pouch. That’s it stop for a second, hang on, it’ll come to you. I know, you probably hung it up on the tie rack, go check. There you go, knew you’d remember—you always remember. Nice catch. Alright, we’re good now, night boss.
Hey, easy there, what time is it? Ohhh, man, an early flight, hate these morning runs. Easy on the handle, chief, or that’ll be the next thing I lose. Okay, here we go, let’s get this week off to a good start. Don’t forget to grab an apple on the way—one of those good Fuji’s you love, plus you know how you love chucking the core over the rail on the bridge.
Hey, why are we stopping, it’s only been 30 minutes, we can’t be there yet. All I can see are the reflections of lights in the windows, but that doesn’t look like the airport to me. Where are we? Stuck on the highway? There you go again always cutting it too close. One small hiccup and we’re toast out here. No HOV lane, no alternate routes, you gotta quit taking so many chances. By the way, living on an island is cool and all but that extra twenty is going to cost us someday. And don’t give me that TSA Pre-check BS, everyone one and their mother is in that lane now—you can’t count on under ten minutes through security every time.
Ohhhh that’s cold, man that airport concrete is always a shocker in the morning. Hey, you ever think about a little WD-40 on the wheels once a decade?? And by the way, there’s a rock stuck in my left rear caster, I know you don’t feel it, but its killing me and causing some nasty chaffing down here. Ok, fine, whatever, but hey—did you see that Tesla back there? Pretty sweet dude. I know, I know, two in college, not yet. Plus I heard they blow up or catch on fire or something—maybe best to wait.
Escalators are the best, mainly because they are always followed by, ahhh, linoleum, so smooth, and so under-rated as a premium floor covering. How’s the foot traffic so far? Seems like we’re moving pretty steady—at least at the pace you call steady. Man, what is it with you and airports? You’re doing 35 in a 55 zone. Wanna pick up the pace a bit? I feel like I’m stuck in 3rd gear here. Oh, my, did you see the wheels on that sleek green one over there. Gotta be a Samsonite—solid legs on those babies. And in case you missed it, the gal pulling it wasn’t all that bad either. Hey, what, no harm in looking, right? Okay, I get it, eyes straight--no distractions. Way to be steady.
How’s the Pre-check line? How’s the Pre-check line? C’mon, move over a bit, let me see. Oh, snap, that’s two minutes tops, maybe three. Once again you’ve defied the odds and made it with time to spare. Whoa, easy man, these rollers are murder on my spine. But it’s worth it as here comes the best 15 seconds of the trip. Oh, you have no idea how good a little radiation feels…invigorating. It’s probably like one of those massages the missus is always talking about. Verrrrrrry nice. What? Who are you? What’s happening? What random spot check? Oh alright, whatever. Easy on the material buddy, just some odds and ends in here, no sharp objects or hidden flasks of Old Grandad. Yeah, yeah, that’s a belt in there—nice leather one, reversible too. Hey ladies, quit yer gawkin, nothing to see over here. Just cuz the hood’s up doesn’t mean you need to sneak a peek. Move along citizens.
I hate those guys. No respect whatsoever for a fine specimen like me. Alright, what’s next? Oh yeah, more lines to stand in. Hey, show me your phone, did you get the upgrade? What, oh, exit aisle, well that’s the next best thing. Okay, nap time. Now remember, wheels out partner, wheels out. Ah, snug fit, but excellent company. Hey baby, what’s your name? Where you from? Italy! Nice….
Nope, I was wrong. This is the best part of the journey.